I hope his birthday today is "almost" as good as his 21st Birthday Party!
Here is how it is described in Beltsville Shell: You Are What You Drive
19 Nace
“rac· on· teur n. One who
tells stories with skill and wit.”
The American heritage Dictionary, Third Edition
Alternate meaning: French for Bull Shit artist!
I
never spent enough time with Howard Ignatius DeLauter. Always known as “Nace”
(rhymes with “Racy”), he lived on Montgomery Road in a nice home across from
Wayne Armiger. Nace’s Dad owned a heavy equipment sales and rental company.
Nace had a natural talent for spinning a story, and once he starting talking,
the room would become silent and everyone would listen. He could enhance any
tale with impersonations of the voice of characters, and give hand gestures to
make the story come to life. This talent continues to this day.
Although Nace
wasn’t much bigger than me, he learned at an early age to drive big, expensive,
complicated machinery. He could drive a tractor, road grader, backhoe and more.
Driving a car was anti-climatic for Nace.
Contrary to
Corvette drivers, Nace had a practical approach to dating. He drove “passion
wagons”. His first station wagon was a 1957 Ford. On “One Dollar per Car Load
Nights” at the Beltsville Drive-In, Nace would load up a pile of friends,
collect loose change to finance the adventure and one and all would have a
great time. Nace was suave and popular with the girls and had in some
mysterious way mastered the art of romance. He tried to bestow the basic
elements of his secret knowledge on me but his best efforts were in vain.
Nace also owned
an extremely rare 1956 Chevy two-door station wagon, uncommon because most
wagons were the four-door variety. But the car that we all remember the most
was his 1962 gold Chevy Impala.
Although Nace would earn his living in the heavy equipment business, his real love was painting cars, and he was very talented. Nace painted Sonny Boteler’s Corvette, Tommy Jenkins Jaguar XK-E, and loads of motorcycles. Some of his bike jobs received awards for the exotic designs.
The First, Last, and Only Party on Yucca Street
In 1968 most of
the JTRAMFGS Club members were turning 21 years of age, a major milestone
because you could get beer right in Beltsville and wouldn’t have to drive to
DC. I decided to throw a party for Nace at my parent’s house. I didn’t need my
parent’s approval because they were going to be away for the weekend and they
would NEVER find out!
Or so I thought.
We all wanted to
be sure that Nace celebrated this important event in fine style. Anyone who
wanted to come was invited. In teen-age potluck style, everyone brought a
six-pack of beer. Some of the girls had the common sense to actually bring some
FOOD.
It was a
gathering of all the regulars. Nace, Dexter, Johnny, Charlie, Peewee, and
Tanguay. Brenda Fisher, and the Reid girls, Bonnie and Brenda, joined the guys.
I had also
invited Jeff Hughes, from Wheaton, to attend. Unfortunately, a large number of
Wheaton street racers had heard about the party and decided to infiltrate our
“private” gathering.
From left to right: Brenda, Dexter, Nace, Bonnie andPeewee. Johnny is hidden behind Peewee. My parents are not shown because they were NOT HOME!
The Saturday night party started out calmly enough. Yucca Street was lined with houses on both sides. Few homes had off-street driveways, so my neighbors’ cars were lined up along the curb on both sides of the road. In addition to the cars of my neighbors, the arriving guests filled the parking spaces on either side of the street until Yucca Street was wall-to-wall with cars.
As more and more
people arrived, my joy for Nace’s celebration started to fade. I was getting
the sense that our rock-‘n-roll music and beer drinking might get out-of-hand.
My anxiety increased as a growing number of complete strangers were streaming
into my parent’s basement. I decided that I needed to take control of the
situation and left the party downstairs to guard the front door. The next two
strangers who arrived, both of who were much taller than me, resisted my
communication that this was a private party and that they were not welcomed.
They got nasty and threatened me. Having learned long ago that short guys
should always seek reinforcements when threatened, I ran to the basement for
help. The first guy I saw was a burly friend of Jeff Hughes named Marc Hughes
(no relation). Having consumed enough beers to bolster his already abundant
courage, Marc advised me that he and Jeff would take care of the problem.
Marc stormed out
the front door of the house with Jeff in trail. They quickly surmised that the
bullies had retreated to their car and were making a get-away. Marc must have
felt that the intruders needed to be punished, because he decided to chase
after them. With me watching in horror from my front yard, Marc jumped into his
brand new, canary yellow 427/435 HP Corvette convertible, started the engine,
and sped up the street in first gear. When he flat-shifted second gear, the
beautiful new Corvette slid sideways, and at 40 MPH began destroying my
neighbors’ cars on both the north and south sides of the street, not to mention
simultaneously shaving the front and rear ends off of his Corvette!
I prayed to God
to take my life that instant. He failed me.
As Nace told me
later, the sound of crashing cars and police sirens and the sight of flashing
police car lights kind of took the enjoyment out of his 21st
birthday celebration. In no time everyone had disappeared leaving me a mess
about the size of a Superbowl to clean up.
When my parents
returned home on Sunday night, I confessed everything. I thought my Mom was
going to die, and I’m sure she felt like it. Her wild and crazy son had gone
too far, and she was embarrassed that one of my buddies had crashed the
neighbor’s cars.
It’s a miracle
my Mom didn’t go to the nut house!
The Mini-Tornado
As we all have
learned, timing can be everything. What are the chances that Bris and a
mini-tornado would arrive at the Shell station at the same time?
Somewhere along
the line Bris started to figure out what was really going on at Beltsville
Shell after he went home for the day. Every once in a while, he would go home,
have dinner, take a shower, and return to the Station for an unannounced
inspection. One Saturday afternoon while Nace was helping out, Bris paid such
an unexpected visit.
As luck would
have it, this was not the Saturday we replaced the engine in Ralph Bull’s 1957
Chevy in a single day. Nor was it the day we installed a complete set of
headers on Johnny Bradley’s Corvette. Instead it was a fairly innocent, calm
day. Calm until the wind picked up.
As Bris and Nace
were exchanging pleasantries, the sky grew dark and the wind started to blow.
Suddenly a mini-tornado began to swirl from behind the building and traveled
right through the middle of the property. The twister went directly across the
roof of the Shell station. In an instant a thousand beer cans, most containing
the Budweiser motto, were lifted from the roof and scattered all over the
parking lot.
Bris looked at
Nace with his winning smile, said, “I wonder how all those beer cans got on the
roof?” Next, Bris got in his truck and drove home. He never said a word about
the beer drinking to any of us (until the time he fired Albie and Ralph for
about 10 hours)!
Sounds like Nace’s 21st birthday turned out pretty wild but was nonetheless memorable. I try to avoid house parties as they can go from fun to disastrous very quick. That’s why I’ve booked one of my favorite venues in Los Angeles on the occasion of my birthday party next week.
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